Day 16

The Great Wall Of China. We started our two hour journey to the Great Wall at around 7:15 a.m.  It was suppose to be about a two to two-and-a-half hour drive but Di had hired Mario Andretti as our driver and we made it in about an hour and forty minutes!  Getting out of the van we are first greeted by the vendors of course.  And the excuse of "I don't want to carry it with me all day" doesn't really work, they are way ahead of you on that one.  "Ok, you come back!  I remember you!"  and trust me - they do. In the interest of time we took the tram up to the top area.  We actaully rode in the one that was just before the one Bill Clinton rode in - yes, they keep track of that stuff here.  At the top we were greated with two thousand years of history.  The Wall is amazing.  It has been restored in some areas and others they haven't really done much work on.  There are only eight areas on the Great Wall that you can actaully (officially) walk on.  The rest is closed to the public because it has decayed so much it just isn't safe and given China's safety standards that is saying quite a bit.. We walked for a while and then Di hung back (she had done this before and knew what was ahead) and Diane and I hiked up to the "20 Tower".  I can't really tell you how steep it is in some places.  Here's an idea:  Imagine if someone was standing about five feet in front of you and their feet were at the level of your head.  That will give you a pretty good idea of the angle we hiked up for about 4,300 stairs.  The Great Wall is not flat contrary to some beliefs.  I actually think there are more stairs than flat spots.  But it is an amazing view and a wonderfull experience.  We were fortunate enough to have great weather too.  Sunny and warm with a little breeze.  Since we were there in the morning it didn't get too hot but I bet by two in the afternoon it was COOKING up there!  We ran into some tourists ('cause we look so native you know) who wanted to take pictures with us.  It was funny to see all the old guys wanting to have their picture taken with my Diane.  "Oh, I take picture with hot american blonde!".  We stayed on the wall for a couple of hours and then decidced to go down in style so we took the tabogon ride down.  It is a metal trough with absolutally"zero" safety features to it at all.  You sit on an ABS tabogan that has a lever in the middle.  Forward is "go", back is "brake".  They have the turns banked and you lean like on a motorcycle into them.  I am not sure but if I had to guess I'd say it was probabally a mile long with all the twists and turns. Now, I am going to tell you the following in three parts.  First I will tell you my Diane's story.  Then Di's story.  Then Mine.  All are the truth, just three different perspectives. My Diane's version: The guy ahead of her kept stopping.  He said his tabogan was broke but there is nothing mechanical on these things to break - he just didn't know how to use it.  So this guy was stopping and starting and around this one corner he just simply stopped.  Diane stopped behind him and let him go to get a little ways ahead of her.  I stopped behind Diane.. Di's version: She came around the corner and saw Diane and I stopped. (You can see where this is going huh?) My version: I was stopped behind Diane and heard a noise like a jet airliner behind me.  It was very quick and I knew exctally what was about to happen.  I had enough time just to say "oh shit" to myself. Regardless of the version the result was the same.  Di came screaming around the corner.  In her behalf she DID try to brake but there was no way in hell she was going to stop in time.  She drilled me full speed.  My tabogon shot right out from underneath me and folded up in front of me.  I shot up in the air and landed right back on the track..  Di went off one side of the track and her tabogon off of the other.  Sunglasses were all over the track.  Crash site. We both picked ourselves up as quickly as possible and tried to gather our stuff before someone else came flying around the corner.  Looking back on it now it is really quite funny.  Actually my Diane can't tell the story without wetting her pants but in reality it is really amazing that neither of us was seriousally hurt.  Just a couple of bumps and bruises.  By the time we got down the guy ahead of Diane had about thirty people backed up and not really happy with him.  He kept insisting that his tabogan was broke but that's crap. We finished the ride and decided to do it again.  It was not expensive and we really wanted the full experience instead of being behind "grandma mosses" the whole way.  This was Di's idea and a brilliant one it was.  The second time was a blast.  I did have one mis-fortune - I was banking into a turn and was as high as I could possibally go on the side without going over.  I was leaning as far as I could and I started feeling my arm on the metal trough.  I could actually feel the friction from the speed and the heat of the metal burning my skin but I couldn't do anything about it untill I came out of the turn - if I hit the brake I would have crashed and if I tried to lean the other way I would have gone over the side.  "Ride it out buddy" but I kept feeling the metal searing my skin!  "Only a few more feet" I thought as I started to smell the oder of burning flesh.  Wisps of smoke were coming out from behind my elbow.  Then suddenly I shot out of the turn and finished the ride (after being told by three spotters along the way to "SLOW DOWN!!!"). Ok, well maybe it wasn't EXCTALLY like that but I do have a nice rug burn and quite a few blisters on my forearm.  Lost some skin too.  It cooked me pretty good. After the ride we left the Wall and went to lunch and then to the Summer Palace.  We didn't have a lot of time there so we walked part way down the lake and took a boat to the opposite side.  There is a boat there that the Empress had built a long time ago.  It is quite big, probabally forty feet or so and has three decks.  It is made from Marble.  Yes, Marble.  It has never sailed.  Why you ask? Well, because it is made from Marble.  Marble is rock.  Rock sinks. Now, somewhere along the line when they were building this thing someone HAD to have been thinking "you know, this thing is never going to float" but given that had they pointed this out to the Empress and it may have been taken as insulting to her intelligence (well, "if it walks like a duck and swims like a duck....") they probabally would have been executed they probabally thought it best to just keep their opinion to themselves and build the boat made out of Marble. Hopefully some day they will find the time, funds or desire to restore it because I really think it would be quite beautifull if it were taken care of. Even if it doesn't float. On the way to the airport our driver took us past the Bird's Nest and the Water Cube that were built for the Olympics.  I'm not sure what they are doing with the Cube but my understanding is that they are already remodeling the Bird's Nest into something other than a staduim.  Either way it was cool to go past them and see them. At the airport Di checked us in and gave us a special treat.  She upgraded all three of us to First Class for the ride back.  What an awsome treat!  And given how sore she and I were by then (remember the crash?) it was more appreciated than ever!!! Mr. Luo picked us up at the airport and we got back to the house about 11:00.  Don't even remember my head hitting the pillow.